My family is quite small, just me, my sister and my parents. They are an amazing bunch of people and I know that everyone says that, but they really are. My parents never let me or my sister want for anything, they always supported us and the choices that we made.
I’ve moved out a bunch of times on a whim. I have mentioned that I can be quite fickle and don’t have a strong follow through, because of this, I’ve also moved home a bunch of times too. I know I am only twenty-four (almost twenty-five jeeeez) but it’s really disheartening to constantly feel like a failure.
The funny thing is that parents do genuinely love their children unconditionally. We just don’t believe it because of our own insecurities. I’ve often asked my parents if I’ve disappointed them and the answer is always the same: “You could never disappoint us.” and she really means it! The problem is I am disappointed in myself – so I never believe her.
Like most people, I tend to lash out when I fell under pressure and lately I have been feeling the goddam pressure. Job hunting is a BITCH. Life planning is impossible. In general, it’s hard to pick yourself off the ground over and over again and not be afraid of the imminent smack of the concrete.
The thing is, they support me through everything. Even the time when I have felt completely alone, I knew deep down I could rely on them to help. I just never wanted to ask. The day I did changed my life. I felt like I could finally breathe after months of drowning in my own self-doubt and pity.
If someone you loved came to you for help, you would be damn sure you’d help them. So why are we so resistant to seek help for ourselves? Pride and ego are often the reason that we prevent ourselves from seeking the help that we really need.
There is no shame in asking for help. Sometimes you just need to say it out loud to accept that is how you are feeling. Don’t be too proud, don’t listen to your ego – just say it once real quick, like a band aid.
Then, when it’s all over, breathe.
Song of the day:
“You are GOLD,
Always believe in your soul,
You’ve got the power to know,